Lyrics to Requiem for a Lost Friend



The sadness, the joy, and the longing unrequited…

The anger, the laughter, and the reach into the empty answer

Only love, only love…



Your light was bright friend… you couldn’t see it

Your voice was clear and strong… you couldn’t speak it

You were so generous with others, and so miserly with yourself

You gave yourself away, so that you might belong

You finally put yourself first, with a desperate, selfish act…

And now you’re gone.

There’s nothing saintly in this story friend

So what’s that all about? It’s not for you, so who?

You played along that you might belong

Not getting that you already do

It’s not a saintly story friend, and yet, what does that mean?

Your search for god was far and wide

Did you think you were forsaken when you looked inside?

And through it all, you touched so many

With your integrity, your radiance… and yes, your smile

You’d be embarrassed in the knowing

Not in modesty, but in self-denial

And what’s this talk of your great heart opening?

Your heart already far more open than most will ever be

You played along that you might belong

Not getting you belong eternally

You never asked for anything… You were awkward in receiving

You were easy to take for granted… and so you were

And so much talk about your smile…

It was your light… alright… but it was also your lie

Yours was a silent scream, behind that wrinkled smile

Bowed head and furrowed brow…

Be at peace friend. I loved you once, I’ll love you again

I just don’t know about right now…



You were my introduction

You were my inspiration

You were my adversary

You were my confidant

You were a touchstone… my touchstone

You’ve been my walking partner, over months and over seasons

Across decades and incarnations, will you walk with me now?

I only knew a facet of your diamond

It was the best piece I could know

I’ve now glimpsed oceans you never shared with me

I’ll be happy to let them go

We shared a deep respecting

We shared a deeper loving

There was a recognition

We knew an understanding

Your leaving was a failure, it didn’t have to be

Your spirit is still victorious, and that facet lives in me

And I’ll find it eventually…



You’re overdoing the humility thing bro

You’re overdoing the humility thing

Self-loathing just isn’t a virtue

And you couldn’t make a case for it

I heard you were afraid of a reading

You’re one of the best read people I know

I heard you were afraid of a reading

C’mon, what’s up with that bro?

You’re overdoing the humility thing bro

You’re overdoing the humility thing

You’re a powerful, magnificent presence

And everybody knows but you

You were playing a role for acceptance

Someone the group would believe

Find a place of belonging

Then go home and smoke your weed

But what if the group finds out, bro?

You think they’re gonna say you’re wrong?

You think they’re gonna judge you…

And then you won’t belong?

Put the gun away bro. Put the gun away…



Ever since my Bear dog died

I’ve been connecting with the other side

All kinds of connections both great and small

But you bro, I don’t feel at all

However you got there, I know you’re free

So I know the reason’s not you, it’s me

I guess I really don’t care if I feel ya today

‘Cause you took yourself out, and that’s not OK

Not yet, anyway…



My opera friend just lost his muse, long illness she succumbed

Across the years he was always there, for him she was the one

Now there’s a saintly story friend, to which you might aspire

Your open heart was full of love, your courage needed fire

For a time you were a minister, twas then you knew your road

From clarity to entropy, that path it did explode

You went off on a journey to study a new way

You found a new community, a place you felt OK

You brought this new experience back home to start again

You couldn’t make it happen, it really never did begin

You didn’t feel “at home” at home, the business wasn’t yours

Your windows of expression just felt like open doors

Yours was a silent scream, behind that broken smile

Your spirit slowly dying, as you smiled all the while



This wasn’t a sudden impulse,

you were spinning it round and about

You can circle the edge of a whirlpool, but once you start down

There’s no pulling out

For all the love you showed others, you had no faith in this life

The world was one big conspiracy,

the shadow was drowning the light

You talked yourself into your impotence

You didn’t think you had a choice

You didn’t think anyone heard you,

you didn’t think you had a voice

This wasn’t a random decision, seducing yourself in your doubt

You can circle the edge of a whirlpool, but once you start down

There’s no pulling out

All the times I spoke of our blessing to live in this beautiful place

I had hoped it would make you feel better

I guess that wasn’t the case

You were nevertheless discontented,

You didn’t think you had the right

To be hopeless with all of your blessings,

So you just gave up the fight

You thought you were insignificant,

but you made a difference to me

Without your piece to the puzzle

The picture, I just can’t see



Been feeling cold, friend… like a shiver to the bone

In the middle of summer, my spirit feels alone

You gave a shakin’ to my faith there cowboy

With your shot heard ‘round the town

My optimism’s been a stutterin’… my anger is always around



I saw your girl at the grocery store, there wasn’t anything to say

Our long embrace was genuine,

then we went our separate ways

I just don’t understand your overwhelment

How could a smart guy like you get so confused?

How could your loving tender heart become so hopeless?

If you’re wanting my acceptance…. I refuse.

I’m not looking for silver linings, not when it comes to you

You’ve done a great disservice, friend

And you’ve done a lot of damage too.

But you know, I don’t think I’ll ever kill myself

‘Cause friend, it’s a fucked up thing to do

This life may be a mystery, but that much I know is true

I saw your girl at the grocery store, there wasn’t anything to say

We held each other in the emptiness,

then we went our separate ways.



The fires are burning friend, they’re burning away

Voices of anger are ruling the day

Time to be ready, ‘cause it could happen here

The follies of anger dissolve into fear

So the anger must end now, I’m letting it go

I want to be present with the people I know

You gave us a nightmare, insanity reigned

Whatever the stories, there’s no need to explain

And it’s time to move on now, to sing and rejoice

I’m living my life now, not making your choice

It’s time to be present with the life that is here

The joy of this moment is present and clear

And maybe from here, I will finally feel

A tingle, a presence, a light you reveal

In the words of a song, like a thief in the night

You’ll be walking inside me all the days of my life

You can walk with me friend…



It’s been a couple of months now, I guess I can finally say

I’m glad you were here for a while friend

I just wish you could have stayed

You always were stubborn, bull-headed

It’s just because you were afraid,

that the world would just bull you over

So you preemptively just went away

The thing is, I really do miss you, just having you here was a gift

Your friendship was always a knowing,

your memory now is a lift

I know that you love me truly, you know that I love you too

When my world is a little bit empty.. still…

I can still take a walk with you

C’mon friend… let’s go for a stroll….